Back again (for real this time I swear)

SO I realize that I haven't posted for a long time, enough to demolish my proclamations of dedications to this blog, but the reason is because I had been faced with a bit of a dilemma. As more and more IRL people know about my blog, I grew more and more reluctant to post what I want to post here. For some reason, even though I'm perfectly honest about who I am to those people, having them read my blog (which is as stark naked as I will ever get in front of the world) is just so uncomfortably intimate. But then what is the point of a personal blog if you're not going to post as the true you? I mean, we already put on a mask (or at least a full face of makeup) in day-to-day life, and having a blog just to extend this facade to the internet just seems unnecessary.
So it was basically a quandary on what to post that stopped me from writing anything at all.

As you can see, I decided to continue my blog, because what if I grow old and live in denial and need to revisit my youth, and then discover that after the 37th blog post, I have NO MORE BLOG POSTS to jog my memory?
...and also because I love blogging
...and also because I need a method to procrastinate
But less so the third reason. ;)


Anyway in terms of art, it really sucks because work has been piling on and I've quit momentarily stopped outside-school art lessons (who am I kidding L ). I miss casual art so much, when it's just about making something as pretty as you can, and when it's self-driven, instead of school art, when so much of it becomes grade-driven. Not to say I've stopped doing art. In fact I find myself staying up till 3 to finish a sketchbook for school art more and more often -___- I also started making more clothes, because I figured if I don't start doing what I love doing now, despite all the other obligations of life, then I might as well give up on it. I mean, life's not going to let up anytime soon...:)


So yeah I've missed this! Back again :)

Not a poem (really)

Everyone is so lonely
And even though they all say Alone is not Lonely,
In the dim windy indoor dusks
When I sit at home trying to work
And watch the darkening skies outside
And feel the must settle in the soundless silence
And listen to faint music
(it's the artist's way of life, you see),
I am always confronted by the reality
that life is a journey we undertake alone
And somehow
In the summer dusks, the autumn siestas -
those silent interludes
I feel the weight of lonesomeness
that I'm sure everyone has.

Always bursts of melancholy tucked carelessly between
the happiness
and
the light

driven away by the rhythm of life,
but always comes back
during
the night

let the emptiness be a passing phase
some teenage angst
to be remembered later, fondly, as a part
of those bygone halcyon days


so long has gone by between this post and the last, but today i felt the inexplicable urge to post... I also read about the Californian farmers who were going to lose their cows and farms because of the lowering of milk prices and simultaneous raising of cow feed prices. The reporter wrote that 2 old men - in their 60's - broke down and started sobbing in the courtroom: "Recently, I had two men over 60 years old who broke down and sobbed in court," Walter said. "You would be surprised how much these men care about their cows." I got so angry at the injustices in this world. I don't know what's happening to me, but maybe cows and old farmers just have a special place in my heart :)



link: http://news.yahoo.com/calif-dairies-going-broke-due-feed-milk-prices-163004062--finance.html